Go - No Go Meeting

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Alice: Which way I ought to go from here?
Cheshire Puss: That depends a great deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
Cheshire Puss: Then it doesn’t matter which way you go.
Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.
Cheshire Puss: Oh, you are sure to do that if you only walk long enough.
- Alice in Wonderland

This was about a month ago. Suddenly something occurred to me and I called up home.
"... you mean the girl hasn't even seen my photo!?" I asked mom.
"She will be seeing you on the weekend anyways right?"
"But... well, anyways I don't know what to say"
"Don't you worry at all. They are our distant relatives too. It will be very informal".
I sighed.
But not for very long. When I went home over the weekend, I came to know that a party hall has been booked and arrangements have been made for breakfast and lunch. Everything needed to build up my tension was in place. I could imagine the difference in the faces of both the families during breakfast and after the lunch. Why? The Go - No go meeting was scheduled just after breakfast.

The guests informally arrived and that is when she saw me for the first time. After going through an hour of tension-uncertainty mixed emotions, we decided to go and sit in a temple. Just two of us, to talk about everything that needs to be known before you say 'I do'.

What do people discuss in this talk? Whether or not the girl or the guy is compatible and will adjust for the whole life and potentially for the next seven lives!? Was I even prepared to talk? I didn't have a questionnaire or guidance or tips to assist me.
But after about 30-40 mins, we could not find any contradictions and we said okay. The elders then decided to go live over a weekend in the last week of August.

I thought I ought to come up with a book for what and what not to ask and answer in such meetings.

But then, does it really matter? I remembered one of my friends from client side in US telling me, the usual timeframe a guy and a girl spend together before getting married is about 3 years. Leaving alone the fact that about 37.4% of statistics are made right on the spot, I would say about 30% of them will shred the relationship and try to pursue a newer and potentially better one after the average happiness expectancy of a married couple (5 years). They wonder how on earth we could just go ahead and talk with a girl for about an hour and then commit for the whole life.

Traditionally in India, a girl's opinion has never been asked! It is only in recent few decades that this is happening. It is always decided by the parents. But when the relationship can be so fragile that even after 3 years of going together, it could meltdown, does it really matter?

Changes are inevitable. Everything, everyone in the world keep changing. You may like one thing about a person today and after a few years that very thing would get on your nerves. Relationship is a constant learning process of how to accept changes and flow with the current. Clinging to a root or a rock along the river is the only way of experiencing the turbulence of the river. Let go and flow with it, you will learn to float.

With that thought I dropped the idea of writing that 'one million copies sold' book. The journey doesn't end when the project goes live; it then begins.

Back To Bangalore

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Come hither, come hither
Here shall he see no enemy
But traffic jams and rough weather.

Here, a software engineer's typical no-bus-miss day begins at 5:30AM. No, any later than that can as well end up being a half day! So, I get up at 5:30, get ready by 6:15 and go to the HPG (it's new... Highly Paying Guest) apartment and make them aware of my timeliness by constantly looking at my watch. Finally roughly after 10 mins, I will be rewarded the breakfast when I truly thank God for my food at right time.

Now I will have to walk for about a kilometer (it's more than half a mile - in case you forgot) to reach the bus stop. You do not want to hurry up though. You don’t want to be late, but you don’t want to be early either. That is because you cannot stand in the bus stop surrounded by beggars (I guess there is no softer word for that). You do not want even to be seen near them, let alone interacting with them either positively or negatively. You justify yourself telling, I'm not going to encourage beggary in my country.

By the time you are thinking all these things, strange things start happening. You will see an auto wala come and park right in front of you as if he is expecting you to get in. A local city bus also comes and parks next to the auto rickshaw and blocks the visibility of the road totally. Beware friends, you are being framed, Infy bus is right behind. A little bit of negligence will waste your 1 hour sleep sacrifice.

As they say, first step is half success. Once you get into the bus, you have achieved your intended goal. Now you need not do anything, just sit in the bus till...

This is where it gets exciting. You thought you almost missed the bus, but now, the bus is not moving. The driver is honking the 120 dB horn just to blow your eardrums off. Bus stops at every signal without fail and just after every signal too to pick up a few more of our Infoscions. Somebody please tell them it would be a lot easier if they stood near the signal where the bus would anyway stop! Oh, I forgot, even I did the same thing. But mine is different. I have already walked half a mile up the hill (wonder why it is always up the hill in the morning) to reach the bus stop. Anyway, nobody complains, neither I do.

Then we enter the legendary Hosur road. If, if only... there were absolutely no other vehicle except our bus, our driver is competent enough to make it to Infy in 20 mins. Oh well. I bet you could repeat WTH a thousand times by the time you reach here.

There is always a flyover being built. This is a phenomenal proof of the law of thermodynamics which says the entropy of the universe keeps on increasing with time. In other words, no matter how much you try to improve these roads, you will end up screwing it up one degree higher than it was before. Two and a half years back there were flyovers being built. Yes, the good news is they are done! But other new ones have been started, effectively forcing you to stare at the same old 'So fa So good' and 'Oye Pape' ads on the road side each for 10-15 mins.

By the time you reach the office, you would have experienced exposure to a constant multiple of 100 dB no rhythm horns, all kinds of dust and different kinds of stinks, seen smoke coming out of a lorry and so on. You wonder if you are going to the office or going back home. This begins (ends?) our typical weekday.

Roughly it takes 2 weeks of constant travel in this way to finally STOP comparing US traffic to India and try to stop thinking of ways turning Indian roads to the US roads and sit back and close the eyes and say 'Oh darling! Ye hai India'.

Jai Hind!

Is It The Real Moon?

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Reality, Truth is One but with millions and millions of reflections. Every moonlit pond has a reflection of the moon. How different is the reflection from the real moon? It only depends on the nature of the pond. A perfectly still pond would have an exactly identical image. When the water is wavy, the image gets distorted.

What I see in the outside world, works in the same way. It is greatly biased by the way my mind is. A serene mind can comprehend the situation as-is. A restless one, though it has the full image, sees the situation differently.

The picture has been taken from http://fireflyforest.net/firefly/2006/11/17/moon-haiku/